The Art of Speaking Up

43 | Leave fear behind and show up bigger than you ever have before (Season 2 finale)

Welcome to the Finale of Season 2 of the show!

Keeping consistent with Season 1’s theme, in today’s season Finale I’m recapping what I’ve been learning throughout Season 2 in terms of personal and professional growth, and sharing my most meaningful lessons with you in the hopes of helping you through whatever you might be struggling with.  And today I’m talking about a favorite topic of mine: playing big, and making the brave and bold decision to show up in your career in ways you never have before.

Oftentimes, we play small.  We’re afraid of taking risks, we’re afraid we’re not good enough, and we’re afraid of making mistakes.  But just because we feel afraid, it doesn’t mean we can’t choose to push ourselves towards greatness.  This episode is all about stepping into a bigger, bolder, and more authentic version of yourself so that you can turbocharge you career trajectory and your professional fulfillment. 

If you are ready to uplevel in your career and begin bringing the absolute best of what you have to offer to work with you, then this episode is for you.  Whether you want to do this in big ways or small, I want to give you the tools, the push, and the encouragement to go after whatever it is you are wanting.

I hope you enjoy this episode, and as always, please reach out to me!

You can find me on Instagram at @theartofspeakingup, or join the Facebook group by searching for ‘The Art of Speaking Up’ on Facebook.

And don’t forget: you are a wildly gifted, talented, and passionate being and your biggest impact on the world happens when you begin to truly embrace this.

Thanks for tuning in! (:

42 | Letting go of inhibition, femininity in hypermasculine work environments, balance vs. burnout & more with Camila Mize

We all want to feel strong and confident at work, no doubt.  But for women – it can be hard.  We often feel pressure to assimilate to the work culture that surrounds us, and this often means turning off our femininity and dulling our true personality in order to fit in with our environment.

And yet – our identity is the strongest foundation we have.  When we are able to come into ourselves and show up just as we are, we can begin to tap into our deepest source of power and self-confidence.

In today’s conversation, you’ll hear all about Camila’s journey through this very process.  As someone who identifies as being creative and feminine, it took Camila some time to come into her own and find a sense of strength and identity in the male dominated finance industry.

Camila’s story reminds us of an important truth that we should hold onto closely if we’re trying to build confidence.  She reminds us that true confidence is never about impressing the people around us.  In fact, it has very little to do with what people around us think.  Instead, it’s about those moments where we impress *ourselves.*  Whether it’s by doing something that feels scary or taking a big risk, the strongest form of confidence comes when we cheer ourselves on through those moments of intense vulnerability and fear.

You’ll also hear Camila talk about:

• Dropping perfectionism and detail orientation in order to grow as a leader
• The discomfort involved in growing and developing
• The struggle to set boundaries at work
• Career twists and turns and the challenges of finding one’s path
• The challenges of embracing femininity in masculine environments
• How Camila built confidence in unconventional ways by exploring her creative passions outside the workplace
• The importance of expressing yourself creatively outside of your job, and how following your curiosities outside work can help you grow at work
• The social and cultural challenges of being a woman
• What to do when you’re feeling stuck

If you are looking to build your confidence or find your voice in the workplace, then you will find today’s conversation rich with insights and nuggets that will serve you on your personal and professional path.

As always, thank you for tuning in, and be sure to get in touch!  You can reach me in Instagram at @theartofspeakingup – and do not hesitate to reach out.  I’d love to hear from you!

41 | How to tap into confidence when you’re deep in struggle + the hidden value in uncomfortable situations with Erin Foley

Feeling confident at work is pretty much a universal desire – I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t interested in feeling more confident professionally in some way, shape, or form.

 

That challenge with this, though, is that building confidence can often seem very elusive.  We know how we *want* to feel, but we aren’t quite sure how to get there.  This can lead us feeling stuck and frustrated, and not feeling empowered to move ourselves through whatever challenges we are experiencing.

 

I absolutely love today’s guest Erin Foley, because she turned the definition of self-confidence on its head (in a good way).  In this episode, I asked Erin what her definition of confidence is.  I was very curious to hear her perspective – after all, she’s a mindset coach who focuses on coaching working women like myself to trust themselves and their capabilities.

 

And her answer did not disappoint me.  Erin helped me see that confidence is not just about ‘feeling good,’ but rather, confidence a willingness to take courageous action in spite of feeling *not* good.  This blew my mind!  Not only was it incredibly liberating, but it also helped me see that confidence is not a feeling that we hope to feel.  Confidence is about the decisions that we choose to make.  This is incredibly empowering, because we can’t always choose to feel confident, but we *can* always choose to take the actions that we want to take, even if they seem intimidating or scary.

 

In this episode, you’ll also hear Erin talk about:

 

Contingent confidence vs. a growth mindset

 

Why successful people don’t need to be confident all the time

 

The relationship between mistakes and failure

 

The importance of playfulness

 

Impostor syndrome

 

Why it’s okay to feel awkward or uncomfortable at times

 

The importance of showing your true self at work

 

How to have patience with your professional goals

 

Tips to cultivate confidence

 

How to find value in hard things

 

To learn more about Erin, check out her website:  https://www.erinmfoley.com/

 

And to reach out to me or send a listener question in, you can reach me in Instagram (@theartofspeakingup) or via email (jessica@theartofspeakingup.com)

 

As always, thanks for tuning in, and catch you next week!

 

 

40 | Afraid you’re not good enough for your job? How to stop fearing incompetence with Erin Foley

Do you struggle to believe that you belong in, and are good enough for your job?  Do you feel like impostor syndrome has become a way of life for you?  If you struggle to believe in yourself and your capabilities, then today’s episode with mindset coach Erin Foley will be perfect for you. 

While we may feel alone in our mindset struggles, Erin’s coaching work and expertise sheds light on just how common it is to get stuck in the fear that we aren’t truly good enough for the jobs that we hold.  As Erin explains, it is totally normal to feel this way in our jobs, particularly when we’re in new environments, or taking on new roles or projects.  Rather than get caught in the negative spiral that this type of thinking can send us down, Erin encourages us to step back from our thoughts and get perspective on the situation.  Often, what we are perceiving as the truth is not as closely connected to reality as we may think it is.  In this conversation, Erin offers insights, advice, and techniques to help us break free from this negative thought pattern.

Erin also explains the difference between perfectionism and healthy ambition, and explains how the need for external approval drives perfectionistic tendencies.  She also delves into impostor syndrome, breaking down what it looks like, the different types of impostor syndrome, and what to do if we are stuck in it. 

This episode is perfect for anyone who is having troubles trusting that they are good enough for their job.  I found Erin’s wisdom to be refreshing, honest, insightful…and a huge relief.  Knowing that these feelings are normal, and knowing that there are ways to move through them is encouraging and uplifting.  I felt this sense of possibility and optimism while learning from Erin, and I hope you do as well.

To get in touch with Erin, check out her website at https://www.erinmfoley.com/, and as always, feel free to reach out to me on Instagram @theartofspeakingup

Thanks for tuning in, and catch you next week for part 2 of my conversation with Erin!

39 | What to do when you can’t stop fixating on your flaws and perceived weaknesses

Do you spend a lot of time and energy thinking about the areas where you struggle?  When you run into something that doesn’t come naturally to you, does it send you down a tailspin of self-criticism and worry?

As human beings, it’s normal for us to be good at some things and bad at others, and yet, when we run into our weaknesses in a professional setting, we seem to forget this.  We often hold ourselves to very high, superhuman standards that we wouldn’t hold ourselves to in other situations. 

So what gives?

Well, the workplace is a place where we’re expected to show excellence.  From the pressure to construct the perfect shiny resume to the tendency to avoid any open discussion about our struggles and vulnerabilities, the professional world often tells us (in subtle and often unintentional ways) that our flaws might not be welcome.

Now, this isn’t to say that we shouldn’t be aiming to do our best work.  It’s actually the very opposite – our best work comes about when we are ACCEPTING of the quirks and flaws that make us human.  When we accept the entire package of who we are, both the good and the bad, this is when we begin to build GENUINE confidence.  And genuine confidence is what gives us the fuel and the resilience to do our best work and overcome obstacles.

And so in embracing our weaknesses, we are actually helping ourselves become strong.  Our humanity is defined by how unique and diverse we are as humans, and this uniqueness includes our good parts and our bad parts.  As human beings, we are a little bit of everything, and denying the normalcy of our flaws keeps us in a state of perfectionistic fear that actually makes it harder for us to perform our best.

So what should you do about your struggles and weaknesses?  For one, stop worrying about them or hiding from them.  In doing so, you reinforce the story that these things make you ‘bad,’ and that they need to be hidden.  In being open and gentle with yourself, you reinforce the much more empowering belief that you are inherently valuable just as you are, flaws and all.

And second, be mindful of the fact that the professional world hasn’t quite figured out how to balance compassionate dialogue about where we struggle with the need for top performance.  I personally believe that these things go hand in hand, but it’s rare to see this idea in action in the professional world.  So just start by accepting yourself inwardly, and reminding yourself that the working world isn’t always ‘real.’  It’s a place where everyone projects their ‘best selves,’ and this can skew our perception of what is and isn’t normal and acceptable.

If you enjoyed this episode, let me know!  You can reach out to me or submit a listener question on Instagram: @theartofspeakingup – and if you’re enjoying the show, leave a rating in iTunes!

38 | The psychology of the voice + how to express authentic power through the sound of your voice with Tracy Goodwin

Are you self-conscious about the sound of your own voice? Do you hesitate to speak up for fear that you won't sound confident?

 

If you struggle to accept the sound of your voice, then today's episode is for you. Today I'm speaking with Tracy Goodwin, voice coach and owner of Captivate the Room. Tracy has dedicated her career to helping people connect with their authentic voices.  In addition to working with performers and actors, Tracy also does extensive work with leaders and Professionals in the corporate space, helping them connect with the truest and most authentic version of their own voices.

 

One of my absolute favorite things about Tracy's work is that her method does not emphasize changing our voice, but rather, Tracy helps her clients uncover the voice that is most authentic to them. As Tracy will share, we often hide behind vocal mechanisms and ways of speaking that are not true to who we are. This can make it more challenging for us to have impact and for us to express ourselves and our ideas effectively.  

 

If you’ve listen to the show before, you know that authenticity is core value of the show, and Tracy's work is rooted in uncovering the authentic sound of each person’s voice. In this conversation, you will learn how to unpeel the layers of fear that may be keeping you from tapping into the most authentic version of your voice, and uncover how you can express confidence and authenticity through the sound of your voice.  

 

Tracy shares insights and advice on how to be more confident in our voices, and she explains the connection between how we feel and how our voice sounds.  She also shares the basic building blocks of vocal variety and explains how we can use these to have more impact when we speak.

 

I absolutely loved connecting with Tracy, and if you want to learn more about her I highly recommend checking out her work at https://captivatetheroom.com/.

 

Tracy also has a podcast called Captivate the room:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/getting-past-your-story-and-finding-your-voice-with-jessica/id1091333779?i=1000438941257

 

Thank you so much for listening, and as always, feel free to reach out or submit a listener question to me on Instagram at @theartofspeakingup

37 | Shift your mindset and transform career uncertainty into a sense of possibility & adventure with Charissa Stowers

Have you ever felt uncertain about your career path, wondering whether you're moving in the right direction and whether you are where you are supposed to be professionally?

 

It’s easy to get swept up in the uncertainty of not knowing exactly where we want to go professionally, and this uncertainty can transform enjoyment of our own careers into a sense of dread and anxiety.

 

But all it takes is a small shift in perspective to realize that not knowing exactly where we are going isn't necessarily a negative thing. In fact, if we can begin to view each step forward as an exercise in data-gathering, and an opportunity to learn more about what we like what we don't like, we can release the pressure of not having all the answers and simply enjoy the learning and exploration that happens as we move through our careers and try on different roles and projects.

 

Today's guest, Charissa Stowers, talks all about her own career path and the winding route that it took. In today's conversation you'll hear all about how Charissa began her career in a retail job working on the floor at the Apple Store and moved all the way up to a director-level position in the tech vertical specializing in Learning and Development.

 

Charissa talks about why it is okay not to have everything figured out all at once and how we can take small steps in our careers to explore our interests and learn what it is we want in our careers. We also talked about how it is normal to feel uncertain and even overwhelmed when you're first entering into a new job or work environment. I also asked Charissa what it's been like to transition into becoming a mom and how that has impacted her career. Her answers might surprise you!

 

And most exciting of all, because Charissa specializes in helping professionals grow in their jobs, in this episode she shares a goal setting in visioning exercise that we can do to help identify what we want our professional future to look like and what steps we can take today to get there.

 

I absolutely loved talking with Charissa. My conversation with her reminded me of the fact that when we treat our careers with lightness and a sense of adventure we can move through times of uncertainty with a sense of ease, wonder, and joy - rather than a sense of anxiety and overwhelm.

 

If you enjoyed today's episode, please leave a rating in the iTunes Store, and as always, feel free to get in touch with me and submit your listener questions on Instagram! (@theartofspeakingup)  As always, thanks for tuning in!

36 | Exploring the fears that lie beneath excessive niceness and people pleasing

Do you ever find yourself being excessively nice or getting addicted to people pleasing in the workplace? If you answered yes, you are not alone. So many women struggle with adopting niceness and people please as a front to cover up and conceal our true feelings, opinions, and emotions. And this is an unfortunate thing, because when we conceal what we want to say and who we are, we can't bring our strongest and best selves to the workplace.

 

We may have a tendency to blame ourselves for falling into this pattern, but it's important to remind ourselves but this is a cultural condition that goes hand in hand with being a woman. Our society has trained us to be nice by causing us to be very afraid of what might happen if we are “mean.” Women are so easily labeled, alienated, and torn down for being “angry” or “crazy,” and this makes us afraid of what might happen if we express disagreement. We want to be liked so that we can avoid these cruel and unnecessary labels, and often we do this by leaning on niceness and people pleasing to ensure that we're protected from this very real threat.  

 

And what an unfortunate thing this is. Not only are we struggling to express what we truly want to express, we are also often getting down on ourselves for falling into people pleasing. Today's episode is all about accepting that this is NOT our fault, and beginning to take back our power.

 

One of the most effective ways to begin to unpack and dismantle excessive niceness is to understand what drives us to do it. In this episode I suggest a three-step method that anyone can follow to try to get down to the root cause of their niceness.

 

Step 1 is to begin to notice what specific situations cause your niceness or people-pleasing to flare up. Are there:

 

-Specific people

-Specific environments, or

-Specific types of interactions

 

that really trigger you and send you down a spiral of being excessively nice? Once you identify these situations, pick just one and move on to Step 2. Step 2 entails getting really quiet and asking yourself:

 

‘In this situation, what am I afraid of?’

 

Be very honest with yourself, and dig deeper and deeper until you get to the root cause. You will know that you have reached the root cause because it will trigger a strong feeling within you. When we are afraid of something, there is deep fear embedded in our minds and our bodies. When you explore your fears and you reflect upon what it is you're so afraid of, you will know when you have hit on the ‘thing.’ And once you know what it is, you can step back and reflect ask yourself if your fear is really true. You can also ask yourself if the fear belongs to you, or if you have adopted and picked it up from society. And then you get to decide if you want to carry this fear with you, or if you want to let it go and move on.

 

I hope that you enjoyed this week's episode, and be sure to let me know if you relate to this topic and if you tried the method that I suggested. As always, you can find me on Instagram at @theartofspeakingup or you can email me at Jessica@the artofspeakingup.com.

 

As always, thank you for listening!

35 | Winding career paths, not caring what other people think, showing up as a leader + more with Trina Martin

We're all trying to be more confident at work, which is why I love talking with women who exude an authentic sense of confidence and who fully embrace themselves and who they are. Today's guest, Trina Martin, has built an impressive career in STEM and in the Navy, pursuing her dreams and reaching her goals without a support system. In today's conversation I talk with Trina all about her key learnings from her career journey and we cover everything from how to walk into a room with confidence to what to do when you find yourself not knowing the answer to a question at work.

 

We also talk about the struggles of being who we are and accepting ourselves as women and why it can be hard to do so, especially in a professional environment.  Trina also chats about the importance of not caring what other people think about us and of owning who we are at work We also cover:

 

• Career regrets
• Trina’s experiences being the only woman of color in the room
• Her career in IT and becoming a naval officer
• Walking into a room with confidence
• What to do when you don’t know the answer
• The struggle of being yourself and accepting who you are (especially as a woman)
• How to speak up powerfully, persuasively, and confidently
• Not caring what other people think
• How to operate as a leader no matter your job title or position
• Turning 30, 40, 50, and caring less and less about what other people think
• Sitting at the back of the room
• Being a leader no matter your title
• Compassion / difficult coworkers
• Getting connected to your joy, and
• Speaking up when you have a better way to do something or something you want to share

 

If you are struggling to build confidence, find your voice at work, or you're just looking for some empowerment inspiration, today's episode pretty much runs the gamut!

 

Be sure to check out Trina's podcast Trina talk: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trina-talk/id1437583147

 

As well as her website: https://www.trinamartin.com/

 

To submit a listener question to the show just reach out to me on Instagram at @theartofspeakingup

 

As always, thank you for listening and I can't wait to catch you again next week!

34 | Being confused at work doesn’t mean you’re dumb + why it’s ok to ask ‘stupid’ questions

Have you ever found yourself feeling confused at work, having no idea what the people around you are saying?

Does this make you feel uneasy or anxious?

If so, this episode is for you.  

It's actually totally normal not to know what is going on - and this episode will explain exactly why.

 

To get in touch, come find me at @theartofspeakingup on Instagram!